A weekend look-back.....

Here's are three observations from our weekend.

1) Since I am apparently going to be Gordita Forever (GF for short), I decided to try a new concept.  I will only eat sweets (in moderation) as long as I make the sweets myself.  No more store brought junk.  So along those lines, I found a super-yummy recipe that I swiped off someone's Pinterest.  [Line cookie sheet with foil, spray with coconut cooking spray, lay out 25 saltine crackers (I put them salt-side down so the salt would hit your tongue when you eat them- genius, I know....)  Then melted 1 stick of butter with 1/2 cup of brown sugar.  When the butter melts, bring to a boil and stir continuously for 3 minutes.  Pour over the crackers and spread evenly when you're done.  Then bake at 325 for 8 minutes.  No overcooking.  When done, take the whole foil off the cookie sheet to cool.  I sprinkled some sea salt on top and drizzled some chocolate over some.]  They are super good.

2) Next, I realized that Roger and I are way too wrapped up in our puppy, Pepito.  On top of having to check under his mattress every night to see what he stole from around the house that day, and him squeaking his loudest toy continually when we are not paying attention to him, and having to feed him from our hand to get him to eat, and him peeing when he's mad at us- then punishing himself by going in his kennel (because he knows that's what we'll make him do), this is our newest endeavor..... We discovered that Pepi is afraid of cats.  He refused to go outside today because a cat was sitting by the pool.  When we dragged him outside to try to get him to go potty, he cried out like we were beating him.  So, Roger and I found ourselves improvising the following episode to try to teach Pepi how to act like a dog.  Roger got down on his hands and knees outside the kitchen door and pretended like he was a cat.  I was inside with Pepi, and upon seeing Roger the cat, I went to the door on my hands and knees and acted like a dog by barking as loud as I could.  And magically, the cat, Roger, got scared and went away.  I don't think Pepi quite caught on to our lesson.  Oh well.  We had fun.

3) And finally, I need to solicit adult supervision for my husband whilst I am not at home.  Today I caught him turning the toaster on it's side to make grilled cheese so the cheese wouldn't melt all in the toaster.  Need I say more?

We are idiots, but hey, life is good!!!

Happy Thanksgiving week!

What is fear?

I grew up in fear.  To be fair, many of my fears were rational.  Here are two examples:

1. When I was young, my grandparents had a pool.  Next door, Mrs. Wiley had two very handsome grandsons.  I was always desperate to impress them.  So one day, when I saw they were outside, I jumped off the diving board while singing that song, "One way, or another, I'm gonna find ya, I'm gonna getcha, getcha, getcha..."  Well, all I had on was underwear and my grandfather's signature white t-shirt.  As I went in, feet first, the t-shirt ballooned up over my head, trapping my arms.  I couldn't get out or breathe.  I was certain I was going to die.  And, of course, no one saw my endeavor.  I obviously made it out, but I still have a fear of drowning.
2. When I was older, my dad became a judge.  Well, usually in a court case, some one "wins" and someone "loses."  The losers don't always take it so well.  So we got threats from time to time.  People would call and say they were going to kill us.  One time, a woman called and said she was from the trash company, and they needed to know why they found a human hand in our trash can.  So, I grew up convinced that someone was going to harm me, or one of my smaller siblings.

Some of my fears are very irrational.  Like my fear of having my throat slit in a dark movie theater.

As I got older my fears grew.  When my son was born, I was convinced he was going to die of SIDS. (And in all fairness, whilst he was at the sitters, an infant sleeping in the same playpen DID pass from SIDS.  Freaked me out.

So, when I was 24, I bought my first house.  I didn't stay there in the beginning, because I was too scared.  My grandfather came over a few times and looked in the shower, in the garage and under my bed for me so I could sleep.  This didn't last very long.  And, sure enough, about a month after I moved in, someone broke in while I was at work and went through my laundry.  WTF?!?!?!

So, in 2006, I had to start renting out that house and move to an apartment in Stuart because of work.  I was in heaven.  For the first time in forever, I wasn't scared to sleep.  I knew I was surrounded by a million people and it wasn't very likely that anyone would "get me."  This has been my peace for the last seven years.

Well, Roger and I just bought our first house together.  It's a pretty cool house with a great back yard, in a so-so neighborhood.  However, will all the giddiness that came with this new chapter in our lives, my fear of intruders has returned.   We installed window guards, a security system and flood lights that light up the entire neighborhood, but I still can't sleep.  Not to mention the fact that my honey-bunches-of-oats sleeps like a rock.  I know if someone broke in they could easily rip off my arms and he would never know it.

When we first dating, Roger told me, "Doanyelle, if I ever tell you to run, or to leave quickly, don't ask questions, just do it."  (He was being dramatic, of course.)  So, I figured this was our mutual understanding.  So, I tried this tactic one night, when I was convinced someone was in the house.  I nudged the sleeping beauty and frantically whispered, "Roger, wake up and be quiet.  I think someone's in the house.  Listen!"  To which, he bolted up and yelled, "Huh? What?  What happened?"  So much for our upper-hand on the situation.

So, now I'm trying to figure out how to conquer this fear.  Is it likely that someone will break in?  Probably not.  Especially since we have a Beware of the Dog sign and our alarm sticker in the front window.  That is, of course, unless someone actually scopes out our house and realizes that our guard dog weighs four pounds and doesn't bark.

So, just in case I'm suddenly abducted or mutilated, please know that I'm sorry for all my sins and transgressions, I love my family, and I'm the one that stole the cookie from the cookie jar.

Happy Friday!  Here's a song.  (hahaha)

I'm baccckkkkk.

After six months of silence, I decided I want to start blogging again.  I don't have any super-profound thoughts, just some random ideas.  So, here we go.......

The other day, I was driving to work and I remembered some "words of wisdom" my mom shared with me when I was young.  She said there is a "rule of thumb" for accessorizing.  You should limit yourself to one accessory for each foot of your height.  And, make-up and patterns/embellishments on your clothes each count as one.  So, I did a quick assessment at the stoplight.  I had on make-up, of course, some kind of print on my shirt, about 8 bangles, my wedding rings, my right hand ring, earrings, buckles on my shoes and a brooch on my sweater.  That makes about 15 items.  Lets see, I thought, I'm 5 feet and 6 1/2 inches tall (yes, the extra 1/2 inch is important to me), so I need to figure out how to grow 9 1/2 more feet.  I think this is a poo-poo "rule of thumb."

Then, someone cut me off and I remembered something I told my work neighbor recently- that I realized that I cannot drive to work without calling someone a "fucker." Then I recalled a fantasy I've had since I started driving.  I wish I could design a wrap-around electronic banner for my car that responded to my voice by typing what I was thinking (or vocalizing) on the banner.  For example, if someone tries to take my parking space, the banner would scroll something like, "You douche-bag!  What makes you think that's o.k.?"  One day....

And finally, I was bragging to someone recently about how I've never seen my husband, Roger, angry, and he's never raised his voice to me (or anyone else that I've witnessed), no matter how frustrating I have been or what kind of temper-tantrum I display.  He tells me he's realized that that's just how I react to stress and he just figures it's easiest to let me vent.  So I was thinking, God gave me the ability to use all kinds of vocal ranges.  Why would he do that unless he wanted me to exercise those abilities?  Then, it occurred to me that maybe he did that to give me a choice to be self-disciplined and not use that ability, or to lose control and pitch a fit (and thereby make an ass of myself).

That's it.   Those are my random thoughts for this morning.  Now I will go back in our 60 degree bedroom, pry the puppy, Pepito from under the covers and get ready for work.  It's a whopping 38 degrees outside and I'm super stoked. Plus, it's almost Friday.  Whoot whoot.

Today, I'm thankful for a patient husband, cold weather and a new temporary renter for my Okeechobee house.  One more month of being able to pay the mortgage.  Thank you, Baby Jesus!

Here's a song:

The "I Wants"

Recently, I've had a bad case of the "I wants".  Here's a few things on my list.

I want:

• a house with hardwood floors, a porch, a fire place and a pool.
• an all white bull terrier puppy.
• a good pair of running shoes.
• a seamstress to sew about ten basic garments to create a new wardrobe.
• a comfortable, feminine, classy pair of work shoes.
• a stylish hair cut and color.
• a new leather sectional couch.
• to win the lottery  (why not dream big?!?)
• a chin lift.
• to go to Ireland for my 40th birthday in December.

That's it.  Not much, right?  So I keep trying to convince myself that the universe will provide these things to me, but it's not working.  Kind of like trying to will the universe to persuade the IRS to give me my stinking tax refund..... Sigh.

I will have one of these things by the end of next week.  I've already decided. :)

Here's a song.  Happy Hump Day!

Terrific Tuesday!

Today was a pretty good day.  Work was uneventful.  I had a session with the personal trainer at lunch, and was actually able to keep up.

When I got home Roger and I moved our dining room table from our spare bedroom to our living room and actually ate dinner at a table for the 2nd time since moving in.  We had bison stew.  Yumm.

Now we're watching America's Funniest Videos and looking for houses on the internet.

This weekend, we're headed to North Carolina to visit my family.

Today I feel at peace.

Here's a song!!!!  Happy Tuesday!

Pig Feet

Roger has been practicing with his new tattoo gun.  Over the weekend, he really, really wanted to adorn my skin with a new piece of art.  Stalling, I told him he needs to practice a little more.

So, today, I came home from work.  He gave me a giant hug and shoved a pig foot in my face.  "See!," he said, "I can do it!"

Sigh.......  I guess it wouldn't hurt to let him try.  Who knows, one day I might be able to tell people I got the first Roger Caceres tattoo!

(I drew the line at finding a way to cook the foot for dinner......"

The Two Minute Low-Down

So, because I'm about to fall into bed and watch the new episode of Law and Order, all I can offer is a two-minute low-down.....

I took Friday off and went to visit Alex.  Had a super great time. Distance and time has most def strengthened our relationship.  There's a cute pic we took in the car, but he'll have to re-send it to me so I can post it.  He finally started university on Monday and moves into his first apartment today.  I think he's a little scared or intimidated because he told me he'll probably crash at my sister's place tonight.  Poor pookie.

Today was day 16 of my super diet and personal trainer.  Every muscle in my body hurts.  Today he worked us so hard that I threw up.  Have you ever tried running with 10 lb boobs?  Seriously!  Sometimes I come home and beg Roger to just hold them up for me for 1 minute.  My trainer has no sympathy.  And, today was my first weigh-in.  I lost 9 lbs.

And finally, I came home tonight to find my husband bought a tattoo gun AND gave himself a tattoo.  He's actually offended that I won't let him practice on me.

Oh wait.... one more thing.  The IRS sucks.  I WANT MY TAX RETURN!!!!!!!

OHHHHHH, ohhhhhh, oohhhhh, and one more last, last thing.  We are winning the lottery tonight.  I just know it.  The guy at the store promised me it was the winning ticket!!!!

Peace outside.  

A Festive Weekend

I had a blast today. I went to TWO festivals!

First, the Shrimp Fest in Fernandina Beach.
http://www.shrimpfestival.com/

There were hundreds of art vendors and lots and lots of shrimp dishes.  And, I am super proud of myself.  Remember the diet I mentioned yesterday?  Well I stuck to it (pretty well) today.  From ALL those shrimp selections, I picked cajun boiled shrimp.  I did cheat, however, by eating 1 1/2 small coconut shrimp and one 2" x 2" square of shrimp pizza.  And I have to say, the cheating wasn't worth it, because the cheat items weren't that good.

Anyway, it was so beautiful out today.  So, I decided to head to another festival- the World of Nations.  There were booths from about 30 countries that sold typical touristy stuff and traditional foods.  The only problem was the rain from the last three days turned the ground into a muddy, slippery mess.   My favorite booths were Palestine and Puerto Rico.  The Palestinians are beautiful people.  You can't help but just stare at them in awe.  And, the Puerto Ricans are a lot of fun!  They just ate and danced, and danced and danced. I, however, didn't eat.  The only foods that looked appealing were the churros and the pina coladas in giant cored-out pineapples.  Neither of these are on my list of foods I'm allowed to eat.  I checked twice, but no.  So, I passed.  (Another pat on the back for me.) (And I would have shared a link for the festival, but the COJ is too cheap for marketing.)

That was it.  Now I must muster up the energy to do some of the things from my exercise list.  I am able to walk at a normal pace now, thanks to a supplement I found at the health food store,called Curcumin.  It's a substance that appears in Tumeric.  The stuff works magic on sore muscles.

Well, that's it for today.  It's going to be a great week.  Wednesday night I go to Tampa to see Alex.  It's been about four months since I saw him last.  Wheeeeeeee!

Have a great week.

Here's a song.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PI8KacxPovo

Oh Happy Day!

I did it.  Finally!  I am finding my own groove.  Eight days strong now.  I have been only eating 1000 calories or less of super healthy food.  I haven't had any alcohol or cigarettes.  I signed up with a personal trainer who kicked my a** for two days this week.  And the biggie........ Roger went away for two days, and I didn't worry, or get upset, or obsess over being alone.  Actually, I had a super great time!

I watched half of the House of Cards series on Netflix.  Ran around the apartment in what ever I wanted.  Took a long, hot bath.  I got a pedicure with Cajun Shrimp polish and my eyebrows were waxed.  I saw the movie Pain and Gain, which was very funny.  I went to the Auto Zone by myself and smiled big, and the manager was happy to change out a fuse for me for free while it was sprinkling. I did some shopping at the mall, and didn't spend a penny (besides my Subway salad).  And, I'm truly happy.

I read last night that if you want someone's attention, stop giving them yours.  Well (plug your ears Roger), normally when Roger goes away, I tend to fall on his back burner, and he forgets to communicate with me.  Not a wise choice when your wife has anxiety.

Anyway, I tried it.  Actually, I had so much fun it was effortless.  And, it works.  I had more contact with him in the last 24 hours than I did during one week that he was in Peru.

Go me!  I'm super, uber proud of myself.

And, if you'll notice, I am writing on my blog.  Wheeeeeeee!

Thank you for sticking with me.

The Last Christmas Ornament......

I've spent the last few weeks being angry, if not furious, at life.  I'm angry about my circumstances and having to make some choices.  I'm angry because I want attention, and then some more attention.  I'm angry because I want to lose weight, but I'm always hungry and have no self discipline.  I've started smoking again and probably drink too much. There are times when I thought I could either jump out the window or claw off my skin.

And then, two things happened.  First, yesterday, I went stomping down the sidewalk.  I was trying not to hyperventilate and fighting not to cry.  I rounded the corner and almost ran over a homeless man.  "Whoa!", he said.  "Don't knock yourself down!"  Humph.  What just happened?  I plow into someone random, just walking down the street minding his own business, and he is concerned about me?  So, as I'm standing there on the sidewalk contemplating this, I look through the window of the U-Haul building next to me, and see a homeless man standing next to a locker that reminded me of one of those drawers at the morgue where you see them pull out the bodies on a crime scene show.  He was surveying his worldly possessions.  He had made a bed in this locker and has some toiletries and some clothes.  That was it. I was thinking, the building closes at 7.  So, then I started thinking he probably stores his stuff there during the day and sleeps on the street at night.  What kind of life is that?  My anger and problems suddenly diffused and came back into perspective.  So, the rest of the night, things were calm.

Today, I woke up, full of anxiety again.  I could feel my breath quickening and pulse starting to race.  I decided to take a shower to try to wash off my fears.  When I got out, I was bending down low to brush my teeth, and that's when I saw it.  The last ornament on the Christmas tree.  Let me explain......  Last year I had to sell my Christmas tree, because my apartment became infested with rats and they were living in my tree.  So when we moved this year, I was able to convince Roger to buy a miniature tree from the antique store.  It's very full and about 3 1/2' tall.  Well, after Christmas, I didn't have any place to store it, so I removed the ornaments and put it in my bathroom.

So, as I'm leaning over my sink, I see one last ornament, left behind on the underside of the tree.  And, I almost started crying, because I realized, that was me.  I was meant to sparkle and shine and be happy.  I love to sing and wiggle, and tell everyone "Good morning!!!!"  I like to do random favors for others and volunteer.  I like to laugh and joke and often leave people scratching their heads as I walk away.  But I don't care.  I'm meant to be happy.  Even if I'm the only ornament left on the tree.

So what if bad things happen to me or things don't go the way I wanted or anticipated?  Is there anyone amongst us that hasn't experienced the same?  That hasn't been disappointed?  So what?  Should I continue to walk through life stomping down the sidewalk, bowling people over?  So then the next decision is, do I do  what makes me happy in life and don't worry about the rest, or do I do what I'm supposed to do and go where I'm expected to go and act like I'm expected to act and find a way to be happy doing so?  Humph.

On a happy note, my husband bought us tickets to Depeche Mode (my favorite band ever) for Tampa in September.  I've always wanted to see them and this will probably be my lost opportunity.  I also splurged and bought their new CD last night.  Whoo whoo!

Today, is taxes day for me.  I will not cry, I will not cry, I will shine on.  I am a star in the sky, an ornament on the tree.................

Have a great Saturday.  I'll try to write again soon.

A Ghost Tour Pictorial

Roger and I had a super fun Friday night.  I got off work early, because our office was moving again.  So, we headed to my favorite city, the city where we got hitched-St. Augustine.  We decided to take a ghost tour.

There's many choices for ghost tours in the third most-haunted city in the United States, but we chose the Sheriff's Ghost Walk Tour this time. Our tour was lead by Sheriff Guy White.  This is a tour that he put together after pouring over newspapers and historical records for many months.  He's been doing the tour for 16 years.

 But prior to our tour, we had some time to kill, so we went to the oldest wooden school house in America.

This even cooler thing about this oldest school house is the fact that my ancestors attended the last class held in this school.  Here's the class roster.  My grandmother's family name is Capo.  I remember that Victoriano is a relative.  I'm not sure about the other Capo.

Here's a pic of my honey bunny at the wishing well in the garden.  He was probably wishing that I would hurry up and take the picture!

So, then night fell and the tour began!  Here's a pic of one of the non-bricked paved streets downtown.

So, we walked to historic houses and sights and graveyards while Sheriff White told us stories of history, scandals and death!  We took lots of pics, hoping to at least capture some orbs, but came up empty handed.

This is a pic from the Huguenot cemetery.  The little stone on the left is not an infant's stone, rather its a foot stone that marks the end of the grave.

We ended the tour just past the old entrance to the city.  Then, a ghost named Sally was supposed to pick the pretties woman on the tour, and she picked me!  The reward was a brilliant blue gem and diamond ring, which I'm sure is not a fake!  LOL!  Regardless, it was lots of fun. And later that night, we shared amazing pizza a the little pizzeria down the street.  (Yes, I added it to my stupid Weight Watchers points log....)

Thank you, Roger, for another fun adventure!

It's All Good In The Hood

I didn't realize I hadn't posted anything since last Wednesday.  I'm a slacker!!!!

Thursday and Friday of last week were uneventful.  Saturday, I tutored, then Roger and I went to see The Incredible Burt Wonderstone.  Ehhhhhhh.  It was o.k.  He always asks me if I want to stay and watch a second movie (without paying), but I'm always scared we'll get caught.  I've never heard on the news that someone got in trouble for watching two flicks, but with my luck, I'd be the first.  Can anyone offer any thoughts on this subject?  Should I do it?

Sunday, I indulged in a smidge too much alcohol in honor of St. Patrick.  But in all fairness, I busted ass in the guest room that somehow turned into my very messy closet.  I reorganized, hung clothes, sorted through tubs of stuff, yada yada yada...... That was a great reason to celebrate.  However, I don't think I'm going to list everything I drank on my Weight Watchers log, so I don't freak out the facilitator.  I don't think she would support me using all my points for liquids-with-a-kick!

Speaking of which, today is day 14 of my stupid diet.  I weigh in tomorrow.  As long as I lose a pound a week, I'll stick with it.

Well, I wish I had something exciting to post or share, but I don't.  Life's been a little boring lately.  Sorry.

Here's a song.  I ran across this video by accident.  Weird.....

It's Wednesday

Happy Wednesday!  Today I was extra lucky.  I came home and my Rogerini surprised me with tickets to Get the Led Out at the Florida Theater.  This is a band dedicated to performing Led Zeppelin songs, "just as they sound on the records."  They did a phenomenal job!  Even though I've never seen the real Led Zeppelin in concert, I've listened to their music enough to know their sounds.  And, when I closed my eyes, this band sounded identical.  There were 9 musicians who each contributed to re-creating the songs and the sound effects.  I never realized how some of the sounds were made.  Very entertaining.  And, the venue was beautiful.  Thank you, Roger, for such a nice surprise!  (And, my favorite LZ song is no longer Tangerine.  I haven't picked which one is my new favorite yet. What's yours?!!??!)

Today is day 9 of Weight Watchers.  I keep thinking I'm hungry, even though I can see on paper how much food I've consumed.  I'm doomed to be "gordita" forever.  Sometimes, I can't even look in the mirror.  This, coupled with the fact that my baby turns 19 this week, and I turn 40 this year is causing me a lot of anxiety.

I don't want to be middle aged, in debt, and living a mediocre life. (This excludes, of course, my wonderful marriage- which is the only thing that keeps me going.) What if I never do something extraordinary or spectacular?  What if I spend my whole life just getting by and living paycheck to paycheck.  What if I never loose weight, or get organized, or develop a skill or a talent or find a job that I love?  Sigh.....

Time to think of things for which I am thankful:

• I'm thankful for my husband
• I'm thankful for my son
• I'm thankful for my friends
• I'm thankful that I got to go to a concert
• I'm thankful it's cool outside and not hot and humid
• I'm thankful for my car
• I'm thankful for my grandparents
• I'm thankful for Law and Order 
• I'm thankful for Depeche Mode
• I'm thankful to live in a city where I can walk around and always see new things.

There- that's 10 reasons for me to be thankful.  I think I'll go to bed on that note.

Oh, two more thoughts before I forget.  I realized the other day that I've only ever seen one child in our building- a 10 or 11 year old who goes to Catholic school.  I mentioned this to Roger and he said he saw two the other day.  It's weird that I never see children anymore, except when I tutor.  The other thing I didn't realize I miss is birds.  The only birds I ever see are hawks that fly around the 42nd floor of the Bank of America building across from where I work.  The reason I now know that I miss birds is because Saturday night, when we slept with the homeless at the church, I was awakened by the sound of birds chirping in the middle of the night.  It was the strangest thing.  I realized that I hadn't heard birds in a long time.  And these birds were really living it up in the middle of the night!

Sweet dreams.  Here's a song.

Happy Monday

Roger and I had a great weekend!  Saturday I tutored, then did some shopping.  Saturday night, we were the chaperons at the church for the homeless.  Basically comfy indoor camping.  We watched movies and did some Internet surfing.  I about had a heart attack when I went in the kitchen for something to eat, because they had leftovers from dinner that included about 20 different kinds of cake.  That's alot of temptation for a fat girl on a diet.  Roger said that was God's way to encourage me to be strong.  Whatever.  I didn't even eat a single piece.

Then, the time changed.  Booo.  Time change sucks- just like Thanksgiving on a Thursday.  Who thinks these things up?

Roger also helped me frost my hair.  That was a barrel of laughs!  I put the cap on and pulled through what I could.  Then, I went in the living room to ask him if I got all the circles, which I didn't.  He tried to pull some hair through for me (while trying to watch his TV show), but that didn't work.  We finally managed a system where he put the tip of the puller on the hole, then I pulled the hair, and then he finished pulling it out.  Hairdressers we are not!

Sunday we decided to go to the beach.  First we headed to Atlantic Beach.  It was beautiful, but the water was ice cold.  On the way home, we decided to take the ferry, then ended up at Huguenot Park.  Talk about serene and isolated!  Across the way on one side was the Mayport Naval Base.  Then, on the other side of the beach was a jetty with lots of waves in surfers.  We ended up getting burnt!  I was craving sunshine.

So, today was back to the grind.  One good thing was my weigh in from my first week of Weight Watchers.  I lost 2.8 pounds.  I found a great group leader, so I'll be switching to her classes next week.  She gave me lots of good pointers and was very motivating.

Another good thing today was we got to see the Depeche Mode tour dates!  Concert- here we come!  We want to go see them in Tampa and Ft Lauderdale in September.  I can't wait.

Well, I hope you have a great week!  Check in again in a day or so!

My Neighbor is an Asshole

You know how I try to avoid being negative? Well, sometimes it helps when I speak my mind.  Like when Home Depot changed my credit rating after I outed them on my blog.  Or how UCF reversed a collection against Alex after I wrote letters to everyone and their brother about their screwy financial practices.  And sometimes, no one listens, but it just makes me feel better to rant.  So here's my rant.........

I live at the Metropolitan Lofts.  Moving here has been a pretty good experience.  Yes, we had to adjust to no doors, concrete floors, and lots of city noise.  But one thing to which I cannot adjust is my neighbor. His name is "Willizm".  I know this, because he left a note on my door once, written in pink, to invite us to one of his parties.  I've never seen him, but I hear him and all his friends at least once a week.  He has at least one party weekly, and sometimes more.  And, the parties are usually very late at night.  I frequently wake up to people shouting in the hallway.  It startles me every time, because I think something bad is happening.  Then, I wait two seconds and hear the familiar thump, thump, thump.  Sometimes the dishes rattle.

So, we started complaining.  When you pay $1,295 a month, you would think there are some rules.  We tried calling the concierge, the police and even the office manager.  The Metropolitan people put on their paid "concerned" front.  But nothing changes.

So, at midnight last night, I was thinking, gee, we'll write a letter giving notice that we want to move, but where are we going to go?  Then, I though, well, we'll request to be moved to another unit.  But what if we get another one of "those" neighbors.  If the office cannot or will not control our current neighbor, why would I think they would control anyone else?

The other issue at hand is safety.  We pay to have controlled access to our unit.  You have to have a key fob to get in the building and a key fob to use the elevator, which should only take you to your floor (and deny you access to the others).  Well, if "Willizm" has all these people over, where's the control?  What happens if some of his alcohol-frenzied friends get in a fight and something bad happens?

Plus there's the fact that we know he's friends with at least one employee (because we saw him going to his party with a beer).  So, what if the employee mentions that we are the ones who keep complaining, or what we drive?  What, if in retaliation, he decides to "share" the building's master key?  The possibilities are endless, and not so far-fetched in today's society.  Just turn on the news.

The same people who constantly smile, and say, "William?, he's such a quiet person!  I can't believe he'd be trouble,"  will be singing a different tune when something bad shows up on the news.

So I say this is bunk.  If you know "Willizm", tell him I think he's an asshole.  If you're thinking about moving to the Metropolitan Lofts, don't.  And since following proper procedures has resulted in no change in this situation, I am going to start fighting this my way.

That's it.  I'm done with my rant.

Yippeee!!

It's Friday!  It's fresh out.  It's pay day for me.  I woke up rested and happy.  Roger is in a cocoon next to me.  What more could a girl want!

Day 4 of Weight Watchers.  Yesterday was super easy. I hope I lose at least 2 pounds this week.

Yesterday Roger picked me up from work and we went for a nice long drive to Fernandina Beach / Amelia Island.  I had to laugh, because on the way we passed through Springfield, and he pointed out a vacant lot lot had about 10 cats and the name number of chickens and roosters.  Fun, and odd!

And while at lunch, I went for a walk downtown.  The weather was perfect.  I passed a statue of Andrew Jackson.  It never occurred to me that he's the person Jacksonville is named after!

I guess that's it.  I don't have much to share.

Have a great Friday!  Here's a song:

Almost Friday!

Well, this week is flying by.  It's 35 degrees today. I think I might drive to work today.  Yesterday I got a headache from my forehead getting cold because it was so cold and windy.

Last night, Roger and I finally went the the Jax Art Walk.  It's an art festival downtown the first Wednesday of every month. Kind of like Jammin Jensen in old buildings a a park.  There was lots of cool stuff.  When we were walking there, I found another picture randomly placed on a hidden abandoned building.  I don't know who the artist is, but they pictures are random, usually portraits of children, and usually in a black and blue medium.  Love them!

Yesterday was my 2nd day of Weight Watchers.  It's not really that bad.  I just don't see how you can loose weight on the new system.  I've decided I'm not going to weigh until the meeting on Monday.  So, we'll see how I do.  I'm not CHEATING!!!!!!

I guess that's it for today. No profound thoughts to share.  Feel free to share with me!  Thanks T, for your comments.  It's nice to have feedback!

Here's a song:

My Life

I was thinking about a conversation I had with a friend a while back, about my "exciting life."  My life IS exciting to me.  However, it's not always perfect- in fact, it's still filled with lots of ups and downs, lots of boring things, lots of challenges and lots of heartache.  The difference, for me, it that I've learned to be thankful and count my blessings.  Yes, I found a wonderful husband, who is protective, kind, fun, and most of all patient (I wouldn't put up with me), but that doesn't mean it's all roses.

When I write my blog, I try to relay my enthusiasm for life. My appreciation for things that I've never appreciated before.  I'm thankful for each of my blessings, just as I am thankful for my hardships.  I just try to avoid writing about too many negative things and only focus on the good stuff!  So, here's some good stuff- working backwards.

Remember when I was expressing how excited I was at buying a travel trailer?  Well, I just found a few pics I took on my phone.  Keep in mind this is a pull-behind TRAILER- not a 5th-wheel or motor home.  Look how cool it is!  There's a separate bathroom with room to move, a separate bedroom with queen size bed, a leather couch...... all for around $25,0000.  (No, it's not in my budget for a toy, but still.........)

Sunday, I tried my grilling skills again.  I made a pork loin, a roasted corn slaw (total fail) and yucca  fries.  I had never cooked yucca before.  You peel it, cut it in slices, boil it for ten minutes, dry off and fry.  LOVE IT!  Anyway, here's some pics of my efforts.

When I came up from the grill in the courtyard, we noticed that the whole block outside our window was blocked off by the police.  Then, we noticed this the TV crews and a huge police truck.  Men were carrying some type of soft armor out of it.  We thought it might be a bomb squad.  So, while Roger was nosing at the window, with his binoculars and taking pictures (I would do the same thing hehehe), the police happened to notice him and shook a finger at him!

Yesterday, I joined Weight Watchers.  I dragged poor Roger with me as a guest visitor.  I had no idea the meeting would last 2 hours.  We went to Popeys right afterwards.....  What!?!??!?!  It was my "last meal!"  So, I will start the plan today.  I don't want to be fat anymore.  My lack of self discipline depresses me.  I'm hoping the WW support group and the accountability of weighing in each week will help.  Plus, the program has changed AGAIN, and looks super easy now.  Heck, if Jessica Simpson can do it, surely I can, too!  She has NO self discipline either!

Finally, I was just watching the news, and they were talking about the 6th bank robbery in Jax this year.  There's been 10 murders so far.  Three great white sharks.  Countless house fire deaths.  Wow, there's always something here.....

So, have a great Tuesday.  Be thankful, and think about how you can tell others how exciting YOUR life is!

This song is dedicated to the one I love......

Not much Words.....

Well I don't have many words... Just listen the song.  I believe I'm very close to finding myself again here in Jacksonville- against all odds.  The most important thing I have is my wife next to me.

Blah Blah Blah

I was wrong yesterday about there being no shootings.  There was one.  Actually, I think there were two.

Anyway, Roger and I spent today at the St. Augustine Flea Market and then at Camping World looking at camping trailers.  I think he finally understands why I want an R.V.  They are super cool.  Now they are made with leather couches and cherry wood. Freakin' beautiful! And then we good beer cheese soup and fresh soft pretzels from the European Street Market before heading to Fans and Stoves for some antique shopping.  I didn't spend any money.  Yeah!!!!!!!  Then, we went to Chomp Chomp for dinner.  I had my favorite- the Westsider- a giant buffalo chicken breast over celery slaw and fresh blue cheese on a super fresh bun with a side salad.  Out of this world yummy.  Roger had the Chinoise Tacos.  He liked them, too!

I also found my new favorite website, Tirerack.com.  You can look at different rims on your own vehicle.  Here's the ones I want for my car.

Anyway, when you use the site, it shows you your car, in your stock  color with the rims you choose (exactly how they look in the pic).  I tried to paste the pic of my car with these red rims, but it wouldn't let me.

So, I added my husband back as an author on the blog.  His rights were revoked (by me) for lack of contributions.  He better get to posting before I kick him off again.  This is a joint effort, Roger, jeesh!

It's really cold tonight.  It's supposed to be in the 20's by morning.  Brrrr.  I feel bad for the homeless people. :(

\

Anyway, that's it.  Happy Saturday night.  Here's a song:

Today is my five  month wedding anniversary.  I have to admit, I'm so very glad it's Friday. It's been a long week!

I found a couple cool things this week:

1. Amstel Light beer- decent flavor, 99 calories
2. Cartoon Camera app- makes any picture you take with your phone look like a drawing.  See the picture I took from our bedroom window this morning below.
3. Giant Kit Kat Bars- I actually found these last month, but I've eaten one every day this week!  (Don't tell Roger.) I'm trying a new approach.  I buy one in the morning, and because I like structure and like to count, I take 1 bite each hour starting at 1:00.  I finish my last bite at five.  I'm thinking if I only eat one bite an hour, it won't spike my blood sugar and may not turn into fat, because my body will have time to process it before I take another bite.  I'll let you know how that works! LOL! Anyway, you get a single giant bar in each wrapper.  It's yummy!

Last night, I had another jalapeno incident.  I made tacos, so of course I added jalapenos.  (I pretty much add them to everything lately.)  Anyway, I didn't wash my hands well enough (again) and burned my eye, eyelid, forehead, and cheek.  It was brutal this time. :(  I need to find better hand soap.

We had another bank robbery in Jax yesterday.  That's two in three weeks.  Plus another fire resulting in a death.  Miraculously, I don't think there were any shootings yesterday.

Yesterday, Roger and I received confirmation that we will sleep over at our church with the homeless next weekend.  That will be fun, and something to add to our resumes as community service. And, I start tutoring for Social Services tomorrow.  

Well, I guess I have to get out of bed and go to work now.  Boooooo.  Here's a Friday song:

I just want to play hookie today......

I would really like to have stayed in bed with my honey bunny today.  But no, we got up to face the grind.  I feel bad, because I snapped at Roger just before he left. I was frantically trying to finish the tuna salad (see recipe below), when he commented that he was just going to eat a sandwich.  Wrong thing to say, and the inner Hulk in me came out.  He took the tuna salad.  And, in true Roger style, he still did the Roger dance for me as he walked down the hallway.  You see, every morning, when Roger leaves for work, I stand at the door and waive, and he wiggles down the hallway, shaking his butt and waiving and blowing kisses.  He's like my teenage boyfriend, and I love it!

Anyway, another shooting in Jacksonville last night.  A man was gunned down in the Walmart parking lot. I think we have one murder every day......

Last night I actually got some cleaning done, so I'm super happy.  And, tonight is date night!  Wheee.

So, I hope you have a great Wednesday!

Here's my tuna salad recipe: 2 cans white albacore (drained), 1 jalapeno (cut in half, de-seeded, and cut in slices width-wise), 1 small stalk of celery (cut in strips width-wise), a handful of dried fruit (cranberries, or a mix), 1/8 to 1/4 cup diced red onion or green scallions, about 1/4 cup mayonnaise, salt and pepper to taste.  Yuuuuummmmmyy!

Here's a song:

So Tired

Well, I got up to make Roger and I some lunch and see him off to work.  Then, I jumped in the shower.  As I was furiously rubbing my eyes under the water, the burning sensation started.  EVERY TIME, I cut up jalapenos or habaneros, I forget to wash my hands well, and end up burning some body part.... Sigh....

It's been raining here for two days.  In, fact, we're under a tornado watch. I think us Floridians should get rain days.  Who wants to work when it's gray and wet?  We should get to lay in bed and watch movies on those days........

Roger and I have been unusually tired. He's working too many hours and I tried to cram a 40 hour work week into four days last week.  Now I just want to sleep.  And the weekends are just flying by....And I finally got hired for my second job as a tutor.  Looks like I'll be the only one for the company in Duval county!  Yeah!~!!!!

Sunday, Roger and I decided to try some Peruvian cooking.  We made roasted chicken.  The only thing I perfected was how to grill a sweet potato.  I didn't like the flavor of the chicken at all, but the experiment was fun!

Friday night, we saw a super cool band from Scotland at Fionn MacCools.  Long haired Scottish men in kilts beating on drums while another played the bagpipes.  I want to be in a band like that!

Saturday, we went to the flea market in Ramona.  It's VERY rare that Roger and I are the most normal looking people in an area!  :) Then we went to visit my grandparents.  In fact, yesterday was my Papa's 85th birthday.  We were supposed to meet for dinner, but he didn't want to venture out in the rain.

Sunday, we went to church. They had a visiting choir from a local black church.  Their singing literally moved me to tears.  Our choir didn't even bother to clap.... Sad.

Anyway, I hope you have a great week!  Tell me something happy.  Hug your neighbor.

Here's a song:

Cop Cart

Well two things.... after I watched the tight pants video, I realized there's a whole series of videos by that group. Super funny.
And two, this is what passed me on the crosswalk on the way to work. Not sure where the golf course is in downtown Jax. Oh that's right, there isn't one. These cops are in their way to 7-11 for coffee.  For real-i-o! lol

Call Me Oscar....

Man, I woke up grouchy!  I attribute this to the following reasons:

1. the last thing I smelled before I went to sleep was Roger eating potted meat;
2. I didn't sleep well at all.  My pillow wasn't positioned right and I kept waking up;
3. When I got up super early to use the restroom, I weighed and found I gained 3 pounds in the last two days. I didn't overeat!  I actually ate less. :(  ;
4. It's foggy and rainy outside.  The city looks grey.
5. When I turned on the news, I found there's a group of scientists here studying all the sharks. Booo.  I have been waiting for the day when it will be warm enough to go to the beach, but now I can't swim because there's too many sharks......; and last but not least,
6. Our apartment is really messy the last two days.

Here's the view I see now from bed:

So, how to turn my frown upside down...?!?!??!  A song!

O.K., so this was my first pick, but when I was trying to cut and paste, the second video below caught my eye.  Hilarious!  I am officially happy now....

Mushy Mushy

This morning I got a text from the best husband ever wishing me a happy aniversary. I had to think for a minute... We met on September 21, 2011. We got married in St. Augustine on October 1, 2012. Then , we got married again in church on December 21, 2012. So he's right. Today marks 17 months since we met and started dating and 2 months since we've been married in the eyes of God.  Thank you, Love of My Life, for remembering.  Do I get two presents!!??  No? What if I bat my eyes and smile pretty? ;)

(As an aside, who knows a song where the guy sings "bat my eyes and smile pretty"?)

Now I Remember

Oh snap!  Now I remember the last thing I wanted to say: I want a hand gun.  I've never cared anything about guns.  I haven't been following all the debates about should we or shouldn't we restrict guns.  I didn't care.  But I've had three dreams recently that someone broke in our apartment. I'm a light sleeper (even in my dreams), so when they broke in, I heard it.  In each dream, I frantically tried to wake up Roger, but he did the same thing he does in real life: he sat up and said "What?! What's happening? What's wrong?" as loud as he could.  So, at this point, in my dreams, I knew the robbers were alerted to the fact that we knew they were in our apartment.  But since Roger and I don't own a gun, we were helpless.  There was nothing we could do but hold each other and wait while we hear the foot steps approaching our bedroom.  (Remember, we don't have doors in our place except for the bathrooms.

In one of the dreams, we hid in Roger's closet in his bathroom, but we were sitting ducks and we knew they were coming for us.

Anyway, the point is, I don't want to be helpless if something bad happens.  I don't want my only weapon to be a shoe, or "Fork Jesus" from the wall beside my bed......

It Must Have Been the Velveeta and Jalapenos......

Yesterday was one of the happiest days I've had in a while.  I just decided to ignore everyone and be happy.  I went to work and smiled my brightest smile and said "Good Morning! Happy Wednesday!", even to those people who ignore me or act like I'm invisible or noticeably frown at me.  I didn't care.  And, by the end of the day, people who never talked to me before, were stopping by my cubicle to chat, or confiding their darkest secrets to me....

After work, I walked to the Phoenix Bar.  Roger agreed that we could have a weekly happy hour. It's within walking distance from home, and they have 2-for-1 specials on the local IPA beer that I really like.  So for $6.00, we can each have two good quality beers, and be in a young atmosphere with music and trendy people. :)

(As I'm typing this, there is the strangest sound that I've never heard before coming from one street over.  It sounds like a giant fog horn from a barge.  If I don't finish my post, something happened and you might want to check on me........ Never mind, it's gone now.....)

Anyway, so last night, Roger and I had the weirdest dreams.  We are both very active and imaginative dreamers, but last night we seemed to be more so.  He dreamt that we were rushing to find a secret meant for us and while we were doing so, a black cat was trying to follow us and come in our house to find out what the secret was.  In the end, the secret was that for us to be happy, we had to change and help others, and we had to convince other people that they have to change and help others, too.

I had two dreams that I can remember.  In the first one, I had to go to Denver Colorado for work.  And I was driving up this mountain side and noticed these beautiful purple flowers on the embankment.  So I pulled over to take a picture to send to Roger.  When I got out of this old green Ford Explorer, I heard this noise above me.  When I looked up the hill, I saw that something was ripping the trees out of the ground and they were starting to fall on the road around me.  It turned out that it was these giant moose/elk like animals.  And I mean GIANT.  They were running over trees to get to where I was so they could stomp me.  So, I jumped in the truck and started driving, trying to dodge these animals.  I shouted at one asking why they were doing this to me and he replied it was because I was on their land.  I told him I thought it was a public road, and that I was sorry, and that I would leave, but he said it was too late.  He was so big however, that every time he tried to jump on the truck, I ended up between his legs and torso.  I finally got away.

In the second dream, I was working for a bank and we were having a bank picnic in the park.  Alex was there as a 8 or 9 year old.  While we were by the lake, I suddenly sensed that something bad was about to happen, so I grabbed his arm and told him to start running.  We ran to a massive oak tree and I ordered him to start climbing.  We got about half way up and I realized that he was wearing a red collared shirt and we would probably be visible, so we climbed higher.  Then we waited and sure enough bad guys showed up with guns.  People started running everywhere and screaming.  Some of them passed our tree and saw us.  They begged us to let them up, but I insisted they keep going.  Finally guilt overwhelmed me and I agreed they could come up if they were quick and quiet.  Alex finally got tired of standing on the limb and I begged him to crawl in my lap so I could hold him.  He sat there for a second, put my face in his hands, and said, Mom, I don't want to live like this.  He kissed me and climbed down the tree and calmly walked to the lake where the bad men were.  That's when I woke up.

Some people always ask what you ate before you went to bed when you say you had bad dreams.  All I can think of is it must have been the macaroni, Velveeta and jalapenos..........

Now, I need to make sure I call Alex later to make sure he's o.k., especially in light of his current depressed state.

Oh, and now's the time for me to provide my public service announcement.  This one is about SunTrust.  Don't bank there!  I made a deposit last week by taking a picture of a check from my Seacoast account.  I watched the deposit in a pending state for two days.  That  was fine.  Finally, the funds became available at SunTrust and I checked my Seacoast account and saw the funds had been debited.  So, I paid some bills and made some purchases on-line.  The next morning, I checked my SunTrust account to see if a purchase was debited, and found that I was overdrawn. So then, I had to sneak in the supply room at work to make a phone call to customers service.  They told me my deposit was being held because they couldn't verify funds.  I tried to explain in my best whisper scream that the funds were being held, the funds were released, and the monies were already debited from my other account.  I asked if my items would be returned and they said possibly, and that I needed to go to the bank.  So I counted seconds until it would be acceptable for me to take my lunch break and walked the two blocks to SunTrust.  I explained to the teller (the only person working) what was happening and he gave me some canned response about he was sorry I had a bad experience.  He called customer service and they said the same sh** about my deposit being held because they couldn't reach Seacoast to verify my funds.  Livid, I called Seacoast my self and tried to get the teller to talk to the customer service rep. He refused.  Then, he hung up with his customer service and said, "O.K., we can call Seacoast now...."  AGGGGHHHHHH!  So, we called and he was told that actually the funds were debited from my account TWO DAYS PRIOR!  So, he released the hold.  Then, Monday, my renters insurance debit was denied when I had way more money than the premium that's auto debited from SunTrust every month.  So I had to go back yesterday to ask about that.  They claimed they never rejected the debit.  So, I closed my account. I don't have time for games or poor business practices.....  Two thumbs down!

Well, I was going to write something else, but I lost my train of thought.  It must be because my alarm clock keeps going off, advising that it's time for me to get up and face the world.

Oh, and a shout out to Theresa Rico for being the only person to respond to one of my questions yesterday.  Thank you my FFF!

I hope you have a great day.  Happy Thursday!!!!!!

Here's a song:

A day of questions.....

This week has been so hectic.  This is the first time I've had to visit my blog and compose some thoughts.  So, today I have some questions.  Since many people cannot sign in to write comments on directly in Blogger, please feel free to email me at doanyelle@gmail.com if you have any answers for me.

1. I have always said that everyone has a "given."  I call it the free-pass in life.  No matter what other chaos is in their life, they have that ONE thing going for them.  They are smart, or funny, or pretty, or rich, or have some kind of natural talent.  They are good at organizing, or baking, or have impeccable taste.  Well, I have never figured out what my "given is."  I don't know what MY one thing is that I can say, 'Well, at least I'm good at ___________,' or 'At least I'm ____________!'  Yes, I have super sweet grandparents and some extended family members who love me.  Yes, I have a husband beyond what I could have ever hoped for, but I'm talking about something that has to do with ME.  So, my question is, do you know or have any idea what my "given" is?
2. Do you look at other people to get ideas of how life should be?  Sometime, I feel totally clueless how I'm supposed to be as a mom, or a wife, or a friend, or a sibling, or an employee, yada yada yada.....  So, I sit back and look at people, like an observer at the airport.  I try to see how people dress, or how they interact with each other, or listen to conversations that people have with their children.  I can't seem to find a manual for things like this, and I'm always desperately afraid that I'm failing.
3. What do you think is the MOST important key to losing weight.  Exercise, protein, diet, some miracle food, genetics, ......?  
4. What do you think financially successfully people do to get that way?  I look at people who have the multi-hundred-thousand dollar houses, that dress in only name brand clothes, drive cars that cost over $50k, send their children to college without blinking twice, eat out for lunch every day, and the list goes on.  I often wonder, how do they do it?; and what makes them different from me?  Don't get me wrong.  I'm not jealous.  I don't want most of the things I just listed.  I just want to live beyond paycheck to paycheck.  Here's the four things I would change if I had money: A) I would pay for Alex to go to school, including room, board, and a modest vehicle; B) I would buy a giant warehouse and covert it into a loft house, with open living space upstairs, and a car garage, photo studio and art studios downstairs.  Like this picture below.  C) I would plan a three week vacation every year to a different country and be able to buy whatever I wanted (only on the trip); and 4) I would pay off all my credit cards, student loan, and car without anyone's help.  I don't want a fancy car, or fancy clothes, or jewelry, or a four bedroom house with a pool.... :) But still, how do other people do it?  Do they make more money, invest wisely, gamble successfully, have family money?  What is it they do?
5. What would you do if your child kept saying he didn't want to live any more?  Alex keeps saying this because life isn't going his way.  I keep offering to go get him and provide a roof and shelter and help him get on his feet, but he doesn't want it.  I keep asking him what he DOES want, but he doesn't know.  My greatest fear is that I'll do the wrong thing and he'll be dead and I can never undo my actions or lack of actions.  Any suggestions?
6. And last, because we HAVE to end on a happy note, what makes you happy?  A funny movie, a call from a friend, happy hour, a visit with a loved one, a blind date, a good day at work.... What makes you happy?

I hope you have a super great Wednesday!  Thank you for reading my blog.

Here's a song:

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Happy Valentines Day.  When I was single, today was the day that made me the saddest.  I just wanted someone to love me.  I wanted a surprise delivery of a giant bouquet of flowers, with a mysterious love note attached.  Or a little jewelry box that held a trinket of affection.

Last year was the first year I ever had a Valentine.  Roger and I agreed to have a contest for who could give the cheesiest gift.  I gave him a body pillow with hearts and "I Love Yous" written everywhere, a generic box of chocolate with a cartoon bear and a card.  He won the contest, hands down, with a three-foot stuffed dog, a Mylar balloon and a two-foot card.

I'm not sure what the plan is for this year.

Anyway, all this time I was missing the love of the most important person- ME.  No matter what happens in life we should always love ourselves.  If we can't love ourselves, the person we are most intimately familiar with, how can we possibly truly love anyone else?

So along those lines, here is one of my favorite poems.  I printed it and put it by my bedside.  But I was always too busy and forgot to read it.  So, this week I'm going to work on starting that habit.  I hope you like it.....

I have to live with myself, and so I want to be fit for myself to know.
I want to be able, as days go by, Always to look myself straight in the eye.
I don't want to stand with the setting sun, And hate myself for the things I have done.

I never can hide myself from me; I see what the others may never see.
I know what others may never know; I never can fool myself, and so,
Whatever happens, I want to be self-respecting and conscience free.

In life, we sometimes have to make decisions that other people don't understand or approve/agree.  But we have to live with ourselves first; and if we always do what we think is right and just, then no matter what anyone else thinks of us, we can always stand in front of the mirror and like the person we see.

So, have a great day, love one another, and remember to always love yourself! (And no matter who you find yourself crazy-in-love with today, DON'T tattoo anyone's name on your body!)

Here's a song:

Time to Re-Group

For many months, Roger has been trying to teach me the importance of ditching things in our lives that are toxic towards our happiness.

Together, we experienced ten years of life changes in a matter of months.  This time of readjustment has been very hard on my self esteem, as EVERY aspect of my life transformed into something different and unfamiliar.  Through all this, I kept hoping that my family would be a source of strength for me.  And while my grandparents and my aunts and uncles continue to demonstrate unconditional love, my immediate family has been the source of many sorrows for me.  I've received phone call after phone call from my siblings, my parents and my child who "innocently" tell me the things my other siblings, parent or my child has said about me.  To hear that my sister doesn't support my parenting decisions, or my siblings and a parent aren't going to send me a card to acknowledge my wedding, or my parent telling my son that if he's going to end up like his fucking mom, is absolutely devistating.

I'm not quite sure why this is happening.  I try to stay out of everyone's way. I try to love everyone the best I can and always do what I think is right.  And, since October, I've tried to focus on my new marriage.  I had no idea that my immediate family dislikes me so much.  And for the other parties involved, they seem to find pleasure in calling me and hearing me cry after telling me what the other person said.  I don't understand that kind hurtful behavior.

So, after giving undying support and unconditional love for my siblings and parents, I'm finally going to listen to my husband and let go.  I'm not going to be hateful or mean, I'm just going to avoid any contact with people who are toxic.  It doesn't mean I love them less, it just means I love ME more, and in order to be open for Grand Adventures, I have to be at my best- in my happiest state of mind.

So, goodbye Drama.  I want no role in your play.

Happy Monday.  It's going to be a great week!

Here's a song:  (we don't want no drama-ama.....)

A Quiet Weekend

I finally got some rest after a month of no sleep.  This weekend was peaceful, restful, and quiet, with the the love of my life.

Yesterday, we took our vehicles to be serviced, saw the movie Identity Theft, and ate sushi at the Osaka restuarant.

Today, we slept in, then went to the Jacksonville Car Show.  I found a Volvo and I picked out a bike for Roger.  We'll put those in our Save For Later shopping cart....

Let's pray for a good week- full of new adventures. 

Here's a song:

Tender Words

Jacksonville has a weekly "artsy" paper called Folio.  In this week's addition, they published love notes.  Here are some of my favorites:

• "... So let me do the dishes in our sink, Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink. I could be the man who grows old with you.  I wanna grow old with you.
• I would rather sit in the rain with you than walk in the sun with anyone else.
• Jesus doesn't love the little children as much as I love that dog.
• Ouch... OUCH!... I love you so much it hurts.
• When Death comes for me, i twill reach into my chest only to find nothing at all.  And when he asks where it is, I will tell him you have it.
• I've tripped over many things in my life, but you are the only one I look forward to fall for, again and again and again.
• Hey Starbuck, what do you hear? Nothing but the rain, sir.  Then grab your gun and bring the cat in.  I frakkin love you.
• They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but when I looked at yours, I was left speechless......
• You and me, baby.  We're like a kaleidoscope, our colors come alive when I am with you.
• Lets keep a secret.... I won't tell anyone that your voice is my favorite sound.
• I love you.  For who you are and who you aren't.  For what you do and what you don't.  For all the ways- big and small- you make sure I know I'm loved.  No one else has ever taken the time to make me feel so special.
• I'll give you 12 roses, 11 real and 1 fake.  I'll stop loving you when the last one dies.
• I love you with all my butt.  I would say say hear, but my butt is bigger.

Very sweet.  These are words from the heart!! What will Valentines day have in store for me?

I'm back......

In the famous words of Jack Nicholson.... I'm back!!!!!!


After my hiatus during a very trying two weeks while Roger was in Peru and a dose of temporary insanity, I'm starting to feel like myself again.  Time to get the creative juices flowing.

So Happy Wednesday!

Here's a song. It's long (5 min), but I promise it's worth it!  :)  For those who don't know who Falco is, he's the one that sang Rock Me Amadeus back in the 80's.  (um um Rock Me Amadeus oh, Rockkkkk Me Aaaaaaamadeus- sung in a high pitched voice.... )  Tell me something HAPPY!!!!!!!?!???????

4

Midnight Walk

Headed out for my midnight walk. I found another wall graffiti I want to photograph.  Sweet dreams.

Another Pictorial

Sometimes, I don't have any words.  I'm extremely unhappy, but trying to make the best of things. So, I find that it's easier to express myself in pictures instead of words, so here we go.  But first, here's a video:

I started my night out with Neil Diamond again.  Then, I progressed to John Cougar and Amadeus , before I headed out.

Here's some pictures from last night and today:

 Last night I had dinner with my grandparents.  My super sweet grandmother put on a super sweet spread!!

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Tonight, I created a memory wall for all the fun things Roger and I have done.

 I finally hung the picture Roger and I bought last weekend with the oriently Madonna and Child

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 This is an icon I found last weekend at Fans and Stoves.

 This is from the local bar I went to tonight that had 4 bands on tour from L.A. and Washington.

This is wall graffiti from the communal bathroom.

 Ditto

Ditto

Wall art from the bar.










I would wish you a Happy Tuesday, but I'm not sure that it is....